Fish and Chips!

One of my girlfriends just recently decided to try the dating app Tinder which I was just recently on it myself.  I talked to a guy for about a month who stood be up THREE fucking times during that month.  Technically he only stood me up twice because the first time he actually let me know he was sick beforehand... but after being literally stood up two times after... no phone calls nothing... I'm pretty sure the first time he was full of shit about being sick.  

 

I also have other friends that have tried it who always seem to roll across the craziest pictures with they share with us.  I however never saw anything too outrageous.  So yesterday my girlfriend sends me this...

 

WHAT?!?!  Is it just me or is that the funniest/creepiest/WTF picture you've ever seen?  Are they a two for one special or do the just belong on Grindr?  Strangely this got me excited to log back on and see what crazy fuckers I could find.  I think I have Tinderistis in my finger and neck from scrolling through so many pictures.  And what did I find?  FISH MOTHER FUCKING FISH!!  I swear at least 1/3 - 1/2 of the guys in there have a picture of them holding a fish or some sort of dead animal. REALLY?  In what world does that turn a woman on???  NONE!  This is just a handful of the fish pictures I came across.  I will say some of the fish are quite impressive... especially compared to some others... but really?  We don't give a shit about your fish... or your vehicle or what you ate for dinner... or your blurry ass pictures that you can't tell you apart from your mom... or what you looked like 20 FUCKING YEARS AGO... that has zero resemblance to you today!!!  On with the fish show...

 

Another popular picture seems to be the topless selfie... with the head chopped off!  I guess this is how they keep from getting busted if their girlfriend or wife finds them on the app!

 

However not all of them are shy... some of the guys want you to know exactly the face attached to those six pack abs (or just abs)!  I love that the majority of these pictures are taken in some bathroom mirror!

Bottom left corner... they might belong on Grindr too!

Here's a few interesting profiles I came across that totally creeped me out...

Jay here won't show you his face... but he definitely wants to go 50 Shades of Grey on you!
  Something tells me he probably looks nothing like Christian Grey!

Tim here is Down To Fuck... even though he's got a wife at home.
Apparently he's into the Plushie thing too!  But like he said... he's NOT a douchebag!



Poor Antonio... he tried... guess he should have taken his shirt off!

Matt... WHY???  That's even worse than the dudes with fish!

Not a creepy one... but why just a picture of your phone?

Lance... Really?  You're not a Narcissist?  Maybe a different photo then?

I have not given up my quest to find Ace & Gary.  I know you all would like to see a better picture of that... or what other amusing shots they've posted.  But it could take me a while.  I'm told that eventually you run out of profiles... but it seems like I've already gone through at least 400!  It's a daunting job... but Trix will get it done!!

WHAT THE... ??????

Did hell freeze over?  Are pigs flying?  No and No.  But guess who has THREE dates in ONE weekend?  That's right... it's ME!!!  What the fuck is going on?  I usually don't have three dates in an entire year.  And even more shocking then that is I'm actually looking forward to all of them!

Why yes... for some reason I got online... again!  But rather than quitting as soon as I got frustrated... like when all the douche bags I started talking to just flaked on me... I stuck with it!  And rather than putting all my eggs in one basket and getting excited about just one guy... I expanded my horizons.  I mean really... why should I quit talking to everyone else when I haven't met any of them yet??  Granted the percentage of men that I even wanedt to talk too was probably not even 10% of the emails I got.  And probably 2/3's of those were knocked out of the running when all they could reply was one word answers.  But there's a few that could actually hold a conversation.  Shocking!

So date number one I actually have already gone on one date with... we went out a couple weeks ago.  There's some issues with distance and him being allergic to cats... but I really enjoyed his company so either way I know I'll have fun again..  Date two is tomorrow and date three on Sunday.  Saturday and Sunday are afternoon dates so there's better odds of me not drinking too much and making an ass out of myself.  Although I don't necessarily have to drink too much to make an ass of myself but the odds are definitely higher if I do.

So wish me luck... and lots of energy... as I'm not used to this much excitement in one weekend!

Hello All!

Sorry this is delayed but I was having issues setting up a template last time I was on here.  Although I really have nothing to say at the moment... I just wanted you to know this is legit and I WILL be posting on this super top secret blog.  Hopefully the powers that be don't find me here.  Or I won't be able to say fuck and post completely inappropriate shit... you know like I usually do.  I might have to blur out my face in any pictures I may post as well.  Guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.  For now I must save myself from a tiny cat that is attempting to claw my arms off.


Until next time, Trix